A Way To Forget It
by FeelingThePullCallYourName
Summary: Formerly known as Love's Just Pain. Probably discontinued.
1. Pain

**Yes. A third fanfic for me. But I'll keep updating OTS and Fallin' for France once a week. It won't be a big problem knowing that story had been written a long time ago. There is only some modifications I have to do. Anyway, here it is and I hope you'll like it.**

**In Courtney's POV**

**I don't own TDI at all but, obviously, I would like to.**

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_Love's Just Pain_

_But at times, it's just sweetness_

_Love can be mad_

_But it can be happy too_

_Love is never jealous_

_Just an overlover_

_Love is a drug_

_When you quit, _

_You come back_

_Love is fearless_

_Love still has its weakness_

_Your love is what I prefer_

_It is sweet and rude_

_Your love hurts_

_But I can't live without you_

_ ―KatyJay09_

**Love's Just Pain**

It was one of these warm spring afternoons. You know, at the end of April, when all the kids show off their new bikes and teenagers hang out near the shopping mall... Well that kind of afternoon. That day, I was supposed to spend my whole Saturday afternoon working but, surprisingly, my boss gave me the rest of my day off. The first thing I wanted to do was to take a long shower and go to Duncan's place.

I took my handbag and walked to home. My house wasn't that far; just a street corner away from there. I passed many houses and then, I saw Duncan's one. There were a red convertible parked in the highway; looking nice, comfortable but really expensive. It reminded me of the school principal's car. Maybe it was her; the punk's mother and Principal Carey were good friends. I ignored this fact and continued my way home.

When I got home, my mother was baking, as usual, while singing a Celine Dion song. In life, that woman loved three things; baking, Celine Dion and her children. It was her life since she was alone. My father died when I was 2. I didn't know many things about him but my mother did. Unfortunately, she was avoiding the subject all the time and who ever I was asking no one was able to tell me. That was the thing that made me and Duncan even closer; he knew who I was. He knew what I was living. He understood for an unknown reason. But I believed in his words. They were comforting and he was speaking them like if they were already blessed. I swallowed them like honey.

I kissed hello to my mother (**A/N: I don't know if we can say that?)** and went upstairs to take a shower. After a long, refreshing shower, I checked my messages while I was dressing up. There was one. From Duncan. Hoping he would tell me one of his smooth talk sentences, I began to read it.

_**Court, Im sorry but its over. Don't take it personal.**_

I couldn't believe what I just read. It couldn't be true. Duncan always loved me. He wouldn't tell me something like this. I threw my cellphone at the other side of the room and began to cry. As tears where going out my eyes, I was profoundly thinking; why would he have done that? He wasn't the kind of guy who would dump his girlfriend by text message. Okay... he was. But he would have said this more softly. Not just two sentences. I couldn't believe this. I didn't want to believe it. Just one thought went across my mind; get some reasons why. Not on the phone. At his place. I needed three good reasons to leave me; I mean, why would he do that? I'm perfect! I wasn't going to stay here, wondering why he had broken up. Without any hesitation, I took my keys and went back downstairs. I looked to the silver clock hanging on one of the red walls of the kitchen. It was almost 4. So... I had been crying for 2 long hours? Anyway, I opened the entrance door and stepped outside without any discretion. My mom never asked where I was going. She knew I was responsible and anyway, it was just 4 o'clock. I unlocked my mother's black Jeep doors, sat on the driver seat and started the car. I pressed hastily on backpedal to get out of the entrance parking. In three infernal minutes, I was in front of Duncan's house. I was going to park in the entrance when I realized the red convertible was still there. After a short reflection, I made my way to the corner of the street and parked the Jeep there. A surprise visit would be more... interesting.

I was walking on my tiptoes. Even if there was one car parked, I didn't want to be heard. Before I could in front of the entrance door, I remembered I would have to ring at his door if I wanted to enter. Thankfully, his room was behind the house and had its own outside door so there was only one solution left; climb over the backyard fence. I took a run-up and rushed on the fence. I passed over and fall on the fresh grass sat on the ground. Thankfully, I didn't tear up my jeans. I made my way hastily, but quietly, through the large yard. I took a shortcut through the tomato garden of Mrs. Crawford. Finally, I arrived in front of Duncan's room door. It wasn't locked. I took a deep breath and placed my hand on the handle, figuring out what I would say.

"How could you do that to me?" was the perfect sentence. Then, I would argue with him a long hour and we would make up at the end. He would understand I am the one for him and would apologize. It was the perfect deal.

I took another deep breath and pushed the door.

"Duncan, you jerk, how could you―"

I stopped my sentence to realize what was happening. Duncan was lying on his bed, half naked (jeans still on) but he wasn't alone. On top of him, there was a tall, gorgeous blonde girl. She had only her tight jeans and a pink bra on. Then, I understood everything; the car, the text message, the break up... Duncan, who used to be my boyfriend, was cheating on me. And that girl, who was lying on him and had a minute ago her tongue in his mouth, was Principal Carey's daughter; AJ. That was why the red convertible was parked in front of the house.

They both looked at me for awhile, embarrassed. Then AJ leaned to reach her shirt on the floor. Duncan was still glaring at me while I was unconsciously pouring some tears.

"Courtney, what are you doing here?"

I turned back and stepped outside, running the fastest way I could. I didn't want to hear anything else. I didn't want to see anything else. I figured out, by that time, Love is blind and, when you realize the "perfect man" illusion your boyfriend had been giving to you was false, you know Love's Just Pain.


	2. Lies

**Chapter 2... Yes, it's been a while. So I give you a longer chapter. Not really long, but enough for you to get hooked. Next will come... I don't know when. **

**Little advice: At the last few paragraphs of the chapter, you should listen to Michelle Branch's Goodbye To You. It really fits.**

**I don't own TDI**

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I thought he was the one. I thought it would last forever. I thought love would never fail. I had sworn we would be together till our last days. I knew from the beginning nothing could be perfect. What I didn't know was how much I would be hurt. How could I love Duncan that way even if he always got on my nerves? But I couldn't just say I didn't want him or anything. And I couldn't tell myself "Get over him!" and forget... It was more complicated.

And AJ... I would have understood if he would have dumped me for a girl more intelligent than me but... AJ? She was bitchy, selfish and such a whore! She wasn't even the kind of girl that we would have considered as smart; the only way we could have rightly described her is to say that she's hot! And what guys would like a no-brain hot chick? None! Okay, it is true that guys are less selective on that point than girls but it didn't change anything.

When I came back home, all I could do was to weep and scream. My mother didn't even notice my presence because she was watching for the zillionth time The Da Vinci Code so I went upstairs and took refuge in my bedroom. It was all cold and weird. Nevertheless it hadn't change since I had been gone. The red and silver walls were still decorated with some frames and pictures. My bed was at its right place with some of my stuffed animals and pillows on. My laptop was turned off and the lid was down.

Then, there was that picture. Sitting on my bedside table, it was showing me and Duncan at the annual funfair of the school. He had his arm wrapped around my waist and I had my two arms around his neck. We were smiling and laughing.

I couldn't support that image any longer. I took the silver decorated frame and threw it on the wall. Millions of pieces of glass were flying in the air to later crash on the wooden floor. The picture was remaining on the floor on the blank side. Behind the image was written what I always thought would be the words I would hear forever;

_**I love you, Princess.**_

I was stunned but I heard my mother, from the second floor, screaming for me to hear.

"Honey, you're okay?"She asked, worried.

"Yes, I am."I responded, trying to hold back my tears.

She waited a long moment before saying anything else.

"Would you like to eat? It's dinner time..."

"No, I―I am not hungry."

After dinner, I heard some steps going upstairs. I tried to hide some burned pictures I had got rid of under my bed and waited for what I wanted less to have; a mother-daughter conversion. My mother knocked at the door and softly opened it.

"May I enter?" She asked, putting her head in the space between the door and the wall.

"You're already in so... "I said, almost sarcastic.

She made her way to my bed and slowly sat down while touching my thigh. She breathed deeply and suddenly looked at me with a disgust expression.

"Courtney, did you smoke?"

"No! God no! Why?"I asked, still surprised by the last question.

"Well, it just smells burnt. Anyway, how was your afternoon?"

What kind of question was this? What did she want me to answer? "Well, I got dumped by my boyfriend by text message then I was so angry that I came over to his house and caught him shirtless, ready for some bedrock with his new girlfriend that I would rather call no-brain-blonde-whore-who-stealed-my-perfect-relationship-and-got-me-heart-broken...No big deal! And you how was yours?"...Totally the sentence I should say!

"I went shopping."I lied, trying to develop my acting skills.

"And what did you buy?"She questioned, looking all around the room with her eyes.

"Oh... nothing. There was just uninteresting things like... shampoo!" I grinned, clearly showing that I wasn't telling the truth.

Mom glared at me as her eyes began to soften.

"Courtney love," God I hated when she called me like the singer of Hole; she was always slightly giggling after. "You know you can trust me if there's anything you have in mind?"

I stared in her big hazel eyes like if she just hypnotized me but I resisted.

"Yes I know. I'm totally fine. I promise."

She glanced for the last time in my onyx eyes and got up of my bed. She kissed my forehead and walked toward the door to finally close it behind her.

The truth was that nothing was fine. Nothing. And just to talk about it was killing me.

I fell on my pillow and left the tears come out my eyes again. It was too hard to resist. Nothing could be worse than what I was feeling. Seeing the silver broken frame still lying on the floor beside the shattered glass made me figure out something; now, I was alone.

Another damn day at high school to pass. Another painful day to fake my smiles. It has been two days since Duncan and I broke up and people are asking me if I am okay or something, nevertheless I didn't tell anybody.

And I was just wondering... Why was I missing him? He was arrogant, pervert, immature and really mean! Yeah, I deserved better than a moron. I deserved somebody as intelligent as me. Somebody who would understand me. Somebody to love.

At lunch, Bridgette, Gwen and I sat next to each other at the schoolyard square tables. They were both talking but I wasn't listening. I was thinking of my revenge. Not on Duncan, but on AJ. That bitch should know that when somebody gets me dumped, there are consequences. Between AJ and me, it didn't always have been like that. When we were in 3rd grade, we were good friends. Even best friends. My mother and hers used to play poker together every Friday night with other moms (Yep, they called it 'Ladies Poker Night' but it ended when another girl's mom was forced to follow a therapy for her gambling problems.). Because of that, they were taking their children at home and we were playing in the basement. Therefore, AJ and I were used to be together these nights so we kept hanging out with each other at school. Until she met Lilly. Lilly is a gorgeous caramel skinned black haired Jamaican from Calgary. She moved to London in 4th grade and, even if they barely knew each other, AJ 'dumped' me and became BFF with Lilly. Since then, we never spoke, except when she bitched on me.

Suddenly, Trent, one of the hottest guys in the school, passed behind us to join his friends that were playing football on the grass. Gwen's face turned into a deep hot red.

"I didn't know you could feel his presence... Is it a kinda sixth sense?"Grinned Bridgette, looking back at Trent and the other guys hanging around.

"I don't know what you're talking about."Lied Gwen, blushing of a scarlet color.

"Just admit you like him!"Teased the surfer chick.

The goth girl ran her fingers in her hair, obviously trying to find a way to change subject. She rolled her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I don't go out with some popular kids. And anyway, I don't have anything to prove to you because you can't admit liking Geoff too!" Gwen really screamed the last words for Geoff, who happened to be playing football with the others, to hear. Bridgette cut her off by placing her hand over her friend's mouth.

"If you say anything else, I'll tell your mother about your little crush!"

Gwen instantaneously shut up. If there was something she feared the most than Trent knowing her feelings, it was her mom knowing about it. If you would know her mom, you would know she has such a big mouth. When Gwen was thirteen, she made everyone in the neighbourhood know she got her periods. Therefore, they were all giving her advice to make the pain stop. What. A. Shame!

"Talking about some boyfriends, how is it going with yours?"Smirked Bridgette, glaring at me with glowing eyes.

"That's right. After all, you're the one of us that was enough courageous to talk to him..."Continued Gwen, reminding me of that stupid fact.

I couldn't say anything. I didn't want. I didn't tell them anything about Duncan because I was too ashamed. Even if they were my best friends, tell them about Duncan would show some weakness of mine. I've never been weak. I wasn't going to act cowardly in front of them. They weren't going to know, like everyone else.

"Uh... It...It's perfect! We're perfect. As usual."I smiled, lying again.

"Hey, why is Duncan hanging with AJ? Are they friends?"

At the heard of Bridgette's voice, I turned around to see Duncan and AJ walking along next to each other toward the gang that was playing football.

What I was hoping not to happen did; Duncan leaned over AJ and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He crushed his lips against hers and began to make out for a few seconds. Both Gwen and Bridgette gawked and moved their heads in my direction but I was too ashamed to look in their eyes.

"Court... What, what's happening? I mean, what's that?"The blonde asked, really surprised.

"Nothing, okay?! It's just nothing!"I said as my eyes started to water.

I took my bag and left the table, running hastily toward the school's entrance door. I ran in a couple students in the school and finally got refuge in the girls' public bathroom. There, I got into a toilet booth and fell on the floor, crying. I stayed there until the bell rang.

At the end of the day, I didn't wait for Bridgette or Gwen to get home. Walking to my car, I heard some footsteps following me. I turned back to see Duncan standing in front of me.

"So...It's been a while."He grinned awkwardly, like nothing happened.

"Yeah. A while." I responded, really pissed.

For a few seconds, we remained silent. I wanted to get the hell out of here so I broke it through.

"What do you want?"I asked, on an arrogant tone.

"Just wanna talk."

I rolled my eyes.

"What I saw Saturday told me everything. You know; being shirtless with a whore..."

"AJ. She's not a whore."He cut off.

"As you say, whatever floats your boat!"I said, imitating his irritating voice.

The way he pronounced her name made me jealous and mad. I couldn't believe he was dating that freaking hoe!

"So... I thought you preferred girls with charisma."

"I do. That's why I date her."He grinned nastily.

"Wasn't I enough that kind of girl?!"

He looked at me, and, ignoring what I just said, continued his speech about how fantastic was AJ.

"If you would know her well, you would not say that."

"If I would know her well?! Duncan, you know what she did to me!"

"Oh, please Courtney. Get over it!"He said, more pissed than before.

I calmed down and sighed. I wasn't done with both of them.

"And how about me? Did you think about my feelings?"

"I can't discuss your feelings, Court. Same for mine."

I rolled my eyes again and crossed my arms. Suddenly, tears were formed behind my eyes, but I was not crying.

"May I remember that these were once for me. In my case, it didn't change."

A thick tear slid down my cheek and I bowed down. He knew what I was feeling, but he didn't care.

"Um...Gotta go. I'm sorry."He turned his heels and walked away.

"Fine! Just go! I don't need you anyway!"I yelled.

I got in my car and left my body drop on the driver seat. I softly left my head fall on the steering wheel and the tears streamed out my onyx eyes. I closed them and figured out the last moments Duncan and I had passed. Happy. Now, I had to erase them of my memory.

The rest of my day, I passed it like the last three; sobbing and wondering. Maybe one day I would figure out what was wrong with me. I couldn't forget. I never could. The worst was that I lied to everyone about my mood and, sooner or later, I'll have to catch up and tell the truth. My boyfriend lied. My ex-BFF lied. I lied to my friends. I lied to my mother. I lied to everyone. I lied to myself.

Love is just a lie. I got it.

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**Don't you like that? I think, for my own opinion, this was the best one. Please review!**


	3. So What If It Hurts Me?

**Thank you all guys for the wonderful reviews. That's really appreciated. Now, I want to give you another chapter of that story of mine and I want you to read it. If you would review for my work, that would be cool too. Anywayz, here it is for you all.**

**I don't own TDI**

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So What If It Hurts Me?**

_I put myself in your hands to later understand that one word is related to your love; BULLSHIT!_

―_KatyJay09 thinking in Courtney's mind_

Two months had passed. Two months after that famous incident at Duncan's place. When I caught him with AJ, **the **slut of our high school, right after our breakup by text message. Many things happened since then; my friends came to know it, my mother went through my stuff and learned it by herself (she was too worried not to look), and finally, AJ boasted about that to her friends and it came that these guys were the biggest gossipers of the whole school. Now, when I was walking in the school halls, I heard everyone whispering and many were glaring at me with some pity expressions. I wasn't weak. I wasn't asking for anyone's grace of something. I was able to deal with that 'thing' by myself.

Then, I was sitting on a bench in a park, at the end of May. My 17th birthday had passed near two weeks ago and I was still alone. Not really because my friends and my family were still asking me everyday if I was okay and, honestly, it really sickened me.

Staring blankly to the landscape of the clean and earthy color of the lake, I was thinking of him. I was wondering why all that had changed. We used to be perfect and happy together. And, suddenly, there was nothing left. Just faded roses left at the bottom of a wardrobe and some empty promises still floating in the dirty negative air of my room full of memory. But the spirit was still there; following me everywhere and reminding me I was the rest and the past. AJ was the new thing; I just realized it. By knowing that, I had only a choice left; forget him.

A sunset was the only light we could see on the park and my eyes were starting to water again. I didn't want to cry. Sobs were the proof of cowardice. I didn't want to show anyone that I was that kind of girl. I am strong, beautiful girl and I shouldn't be crying for someone who didn't deserve it. I straightened my head and suddenly remarked that a brown haired girl was walking right to me. I immediately recognized her.

"Hi...May I... sit here?"She asked, pointing the empty space next to me.

I shrugged and left her bend over to put herself down on the green used bench. We remained quiet, watching the lake, for a few seconds. Then, she turned her head to face me.

"I―I had heard about what happened with Duncan..."

"Like everyone else."I sneered, seriously pissed.

She shut up for awhile and sighed.

"I know. Look, I'm not here to make fun of you or anything."

She wasn't here to make fun of me?! What a surprise!

"Like I should trust you. All you've been waiting for since you and he broke up was an embarrassing moment of mine. Don't you think him cheating on me is enough, Harper?!"

Yeah, Harper is her name. She and Duncan were dating before we did.

"I know what you live, Courtney, I know. If I remember well, I was the first victim of the 'Duncan-broke-my-heart' thing. Don't you remember?"

What she said made me suddenly guilty. I knew what I did to her. I remembered well. In facts, what happened to me was just what I deserved. AJ stole my boyfriend as I had stolen Harper's.

"I didn't apologize for this..."I said, still thinking of what a brat I had been.

"It's okay; I got over it a long ago..."

I didn't add anything else. I was too guilty to even look at her. I was reminding of that day Harper and I became long time enemies.

_**Last October― 7 (almost 8) months ago**_

_The bell rang the end of classes and all teenagers were making their ways to their lockers. I was one of the others that were staying after class to talk to the teacher about my grade on the latest homework. After my speech about my career plan and my future as a lawyer and stuff, I hurried to the door and made my way to my locker. All the hallways were emptied. Before I arrived at it, I heard some voices speaking in a hallway. They were not just talking; they were almost screaming. I peered to see Duncan and Harper talking of some couple issues. She was saying that they weren't taking enough time for each other and Duncan was saying that she was too co-dependent on him. I discretely listened until Harper pronounced the key to the final destination;_

"_Why do I even try?! There's nothing to do with __us__ anymore! "_

_Her eyes watered as she was walking toward the door leading outside the school. Duncan turned around to face one of the lockers and punched it violently. He re-did it several times before figuring out he was bleeding._

"_Shit."He muttered under his breath._

_I couldn't let him without any help. I peered out of my hiding place and chuckled for him to hear me and turn his head._

"_Do you... need help?"I asked shyly._

"_Why would I? My girlfriend just dumped me so I don't think I'll take help from a perfect stranger..."He grumbled, closing his hand on his bleeding fist._

"_We're in the same math class..." I responded, putting my hands on my hips._

"_That's what I'm sayin'; I never go to math, Princess."_

"_Don't call me Princess."_

"_Whatever."_

_He was seriously annoying and infuriating. I lost patience and walked straight toward the smart ass punk._

"_Look, you've got two choices; you let me help __**or **__you keep bleeding until you get home. Remember that I've got the key of the bathrooms and no one else, expect janitors and staff, has one. Choose."_

_He thought shortly before giving me an answer._

"_Guess I'll have to follow you, darling."_

_I sighed and we walked toward the bathrooms. Then, I helped him wash his fist, disinfected with some alcohol and put on a bandage. _

"_Feeling better?"I asked, enrolling the bandage round his hand._

"_Totally. Not that I wouldn't be able by myself but it's okay, Princess."_

"_I already told you not to call me like that, you jerk."_

_He turned his head to face me. I could feel his deep blue eyes going through me._

"_You know you want me. Admit it!"_

"_I don't freaking want you."_

"_Yes you do. Right now, you just want to make out."He smirked, still glaring at me nastily._

"_Uh! Are you always that annoying? You're really not my type."I snorted._

"_And what's your type, dear?"_

_I removed my eyes from his, clearly feeling him coming closer to me._

"_Not delinquent like you."_

_I glared in his teal blue eyes and suddenly, without any body control, I pulled myself to him and crushed my lips against his. That was like... FIRE! He slipped his tongue in my mouth and we began to make out for a few seconds that seemed like hours. We pulled apart and I was breathing hard._

"_Told ya you want me."_

_I didn't snort. I just grinned and kissed him again. We began dating the next week and Harper did not like that at all. She had sworn me as her first enemy._

_**Back to May**_

"I know you're over it but I'm really sorry of that."

"I am too. I had made you think it was your fault but it wasn't; Duncan and I were already having love issues and that afternoon, we just broke up; we weren't going to come back together in anyways. I knew it but I didn't want to learn. I didn't want to be alone, _again_."

That 'again' was just the slight souvenir of a sad story. Duncan told me that Harper's parents died in a car crash. She was 10. Because of that, she had to move from California to here with her aunt. Sometimes, she felt alone and missed her parents. Her aunt Hellen was fine but she wasn't _**her **_parents. Duncan was a bit the family she lost.

"I see what you're talking about."I said, doing a reference to my dad.

She didn't say anything for awhile, probably thinking of them, and took a deep breath to finish up our conversation.

"You know, I'm not exactly good in heart stuff but, if I can help you, I would tell you to get over him. I mean, maybe you were not meant to be together and you should know nothing happens for nothing. And if one day, he comes back to you, be ready but don't waste you're time on that. Live your life and, who knows, you might find better..."

That was something I really wanted to hear. It was comforting and honest. She was right; life is short and someday, I'll find someone that will actually treat me well. While she was getting up, I couldn't resist to the desire of hugging her. She was surprised, but she hugged back.

"Thank you Harper. I won't forget that."

"I hope so, Court."

We departed and she walked away from me. The sun was set but the moon looked beautiful on the dark water of the lake. I sat down to admire it. Three minutes passed and I heard my blackberry ringing.

_So what if it hurts me?_

_So what if I break down?_

_So what if this world just throws me off the edge?_

_My feet run out of ground_

_I gotta find my place_

_I wanna hear my sound_

_Don't care about the pain in front of me_

_I'm trying to be happy_

_I just wanna be happy_

Leona Lewis' 'Happy' was playing so I looked at the caller ID to see Bridgette's name.

"Hello?"

"Hi Court, how is it going? Do you feel... better?"

I took a deep breath and began to smile.

"So what if it hurts me?"

I could feel her gazing with worried eyes through the phone.

"Don't know... I'm just asking you."

Bridgette didn't know what she was talking about; her life always had been perfect. I drew a deep breath again and thought about the appropriate way to say what I had in mind.

"I won't worry about that anymore, Bridge. I'm gonna try to be happy."

Yeah, _happy_.

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**Hope you liked this one. BTW, I don't own Leona Lewis' 'Happy'. I just used it because it really fits for that chapter.**

**R&R :D**


	4. Party People, Not as I am

**Chapter 4 everybody. I can't say more because it's late and my mom told me to leave the laptop. **

**Review!**

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**Party People, not like I am**

There's a week and a half left before the bell rings the end of that sucky school year. Well, not that bad; despite the 'Duncan-AJ-Courtney-Love-Triangle' incident, I had great grades, my friends were still there and I didn't gain any weight. Not that worse after all. Like every school day, the bell rang the end of the school and students hurry into the hall. Some were already making out; others were making hastily their way to their lockers to get the hell out of the school. I was walking calmly to my locker when I bumped into some blond haired female.

"Oh sorry!"I managed to say before figuring out that AJ was just standing right in front of me.

She stared at me through her Gucci sunglasses she had just put on. The sexy blond chewed her lips covered with really red lipstick (probably tasting cherry) and nodded her head, in acceptance of my apology. Then, she turned on her heels and walked over the washrooms. I couldn't let her leave me like that so, without this time managing my words, I replied.

"Hey, why did you?"

She turned her head back to face me. Her greyish eyes practically pierced a hole through my skull and they reminded me Duncan's ones. Oh, Duncan... Well, maybe I am wrong. Maybe he and I weren't intended to pass eternity together. I am the kind of person that believes in fate. Fate is never wrong. They're alike; they belong together.

"Did what, Courtney?"AJ interrupted my mind babble. She might have stolen my boyfriend but she barely seemed smart and innocent.

"Uh, nothing. Just...never mind."

She did not listen to me; instead she stepped toward me and stood right where she was seconds ago. She looked me in the eyes; not to intimidate me or something, merely to glare and try to give me a lesson.

"I never meant to steal your boyfriend Courtney, never."She said, the smoothest way possible.

My heart wanted to swallow her words but my head was still reminding what she had done to me before. The girl was a two-face but, sometimes I thought she had some great adjectives.

"And why should I believe you?"I snapped

"Because I am not the kind of person that would lie about love. Other things yes, but not love or friendship either. Even if you hate me, I still feel you as a friend, not my enemy."

Such a liar! Months ago, a day never passed without her pranking me. I was her favourite victim. But then she stopped when Duncan and I began dating.

"And I am sorry for what you saw 3 months ago."She finished.

"It's about time but I don't believe it. You've been lying about yourself since we're little. Don't tell me that you're grown up, you appreiate me and stuff. That's bullshit."

She opened her mouth to say something back but then, she shut it and waked away. Half way to her locker, she turned over to peer at me.

"Hope you understand; I love him."

And she disappeared in the long hall. Well, I did it; I've told AJ about my hatred against her. Contrary to what I'd thought, she didn't punch me or prank me or anything like this, she just walked away like she didn't mind. Then, I figured out something else; she said she loved him. Amanda Jennifer Carey had just said she loved a boy. A man that I actually l loved before. No... I had promised myself to be happy. I won't fail this time.

_**The last day of school *A week and a half later***_

Lunch time and Bridgette, Gwen and I are trotting toward the goth's locker before going outside to eat. We were almost in front when we all froze at the same time at the sight of the most unexpected image we would have by now. This school might be as normal as possible but we could see many things but never this one. I could feel Gwen's blood rushing as her pale face began to turn scarlet. Bridgette grinned evilly, though she was as startled as me, and winked at me. Trent, one of the most popular guys in the school, was standing before Gwen's locker. Her crush was standing in front of her locker, waiting for her, with his guitar in hands. We stayed in place while the goth stepped sheepishly forward. Her black stiletto boots were brushing on the floor and she was finger tipping nervously her black diamond moon necklace.

"Can I... help you?" She asked. She was totally freaked out by the situation.

He didn't answer at all. He just grabbed his guitar and placed his fingers on the strings of its neck. I heard the first note he played and I immediately recognized the song.

Plain White T's's '1,2,3,4' was perfectly sounding while he was singing. Gosh that guy has a talent. While he was rocking the song, I could feel Gwen was grinning filled with emotion, ready to pour tears. I noticed that Bridgette and I were already shedding some. It was beautiful and honest and beautiful again!

His green eyes were gazing lovingly at Gwen; like if we weren't there anymore. Her blue eyes and his met and, not like usual, she threw her shyness away and stepped closer to Trent. The world had stopped and magic was in. They belonged together; they both knew it.

The guitarist stopped playing and stared at Gwen with a sparkling glare.

"That would help if we would go out."

Gwen did not have to say anything; the answer was evident. She pushed herself to him and grinned again while putting his guitar down on the floor. The wrapped her arms around his neck and he leaned in. They kissed for the first time while Bridgette, I and a couple of people passing around here cheered on. They pulled apart and gazed at each other again.

"What about Friday; you pick me up?"She whispered sweetly.

They laughed and crushed their lips together again. At least, somebody has a relationship for the summer. And I am really glad of this.

After school, I directly came back home to plan my summer activities. That year, I was going to France with my family, visiting my grandma. I would have preferred to go to Switzerland but, knowing my mother, family always passes first.

Packing my suitcase, I hear the room filling with Leona Lewis' happy again. I check on the caller ID of my cellphone and saw Bridgette's name display.

"Hey Bridge."

"What's up Court?"She asked, joyfully.

"Not too bad, you?"

"Well, it could be better if you could do something for me..."She paused.

Argh, I hated that sentence! Most of the time, when she was starting a conversation by saying this, the thing ran really bad and ended with somebody at the hospital. Well, after all she did for me these times, I have no choice not to help her... I maybe hypocrite sometimes but I do have a consciousness.

"What's the thing then?"I asked, trying to be reasonable.

"Well, you know that party Geoff Mason organises tonight; I would love you to come with me pleassseeeee!" She begged. Even though we were almost a mile away from each other, I could see her puppy-eyes-like gaze piercing me. Too hard too resist.

"Okay but I don't wanna cross that Duncan moron or else I come back home."

"I can't promise you that but just avoid him all night long. Oh and Court..."

She paused to let me assume that she'll ask me another favour.

"Can I sleep at your place tonight? I don't want my parents to see if I'm drunk or not."

"Deal."I sighed.

"Cool. Be ready by 8 and we'll pick you up. Bye!"

I felt that that night will be some troubles. Big troubles.

It was 8 and I was ready, make-up and pretty clothes on. Knowing it was just a party and I was technically there for Bridgette, I decided to do it simple; a purple pick-up dress, shiny black heels and soft make-up. I saw Gwen's car pulling in the highway so I made silently my way to the door.

"Honey, where are you going?"

My mom's voice surprised me and made me freeze. How long had my mother been asking where I was going?

"Uh, I, uh, am going to a party?"

"Where?" She snapped, appearing from the darkness of the living to face me.

"At a friend's place, with Bridgette and Gwen. Don't worry; I'll be back soon."

She didn't add any other questions. Whoa, that was easy!

"Be careful and if anything happens, call me."

I nodded and opened quietly the door. Trotting through the path, I reach Gwen's car and slip in the back passenger seat.

"You're cute, Court."Teased Bridgette, peering at me.

"Shut up and go."I said, fastening my seatbelt.

We just arrived and dudes were already in, partying hard. It didn't take long for Gwen to join her new boyfriend and Bridgette to try to talk with Geoff. Such a stalker! Anyway, I do a few steps toward the stairs when a tall silhouette, well built but really sexy, jumped in front of me. I lifted my chin to see the hottest guy I've ever seen; Justin DeTulsa. His blue piercing eyes glared at me sexily.

"Hey, Darling, what about me giving you a drink?"

I might have been just a junior (well, a senior; the year is over!) but I wasn't stupid enough to let that guy make me drink. I know him; he's the kind of boy that would dissolve some drug in a drink to rape a girl. I can't trust him.

"No thanks."

"Why not? You're too perfect to loosen up for a night?"He said, obnoxiously.

"I'm just not drinking alcohol."

"I didn't tell you it was alcohol."He replied.

Uh, what else again? He preferred chastity to free sex?

"Look, I'm not naive. I know your plan is to take advantage of the situation that Duncan and I aren't together anymore so you could pick the chance of making me losing my virginity to you and cry. Or just to force me by rape and making me cry again."I snapped, trying to make him understand I don't like him.

"I didn't know you were virgin..."

"Oh shut up and get the hell out of here."

He didn't listen and sighed deeply, staying close to me.

"Courtney, I don't wanna hurt you, promise. You can promise or kill me if I do something wrong."

That was convincing. And if I remembered well, Justin used to be a good guy. Really narcissist but great anyway.

"Okay, I'll take something to drink but not from you."

He stepped aside and left me walk over the counter where drinks are set. I grabbed a Molson bottle and opened it the best way I can. Sipping it slowly, I realized that I actually liked the taste. I gulped it down, tasting delightfully the wonderful liquid.

I've been dancing on the floor for more than an hour. The music was firing me up and the heat of the other guys bouncing around me made me want to shake my ass more. I looked like a slut; I knew it but I didn't care. Suddenly, DJ, the DJ (hee hee, lol!), boomed out Rude Boy by Rihanna. I didn't really like that song but, that night, I felt like a fight. I walked to the middle of the floor and began to dance near the first guy I grabbed. I bopped my ass against his and he turned around to see who was doing that. I didn't look at him and bopped again against his, you know, 'boy parts'. Sweating fiercely, I felt like an animal. I wanted to feel the ambiance of the party and have fun. Have real fun. I turned around to face the horny male, grabbed him by the collar and sang softly in his ear.

"Come here, rude boy boy, can you get it up? Come here, rude boy boy, is you big enough, take it, take it, baby, baby, love me, love me..."I barely saw who was the guy I was holding when a hand grabbed me, pulling me out of his arms.

"What are you doing, Court?"Asked Duncan, pulling me near the beer corner.

"Dancing, biaaattccchhh!"I said, pulling in another beer.

He took the beer away from me and held my two hands.

"Look, you've got enough for the evening. Let it go."

"I will let it go when I want, man whore!"Without considering what I just said, I took myself away from him and ran toward the kitchen. Out of breath and sweating, I grab a beer nearby and gulped it down. It was the only thing enough strong to comfort me.

I go upstairs and, passing in front of couples making out and the beginning of a possible orgy (ouach!!!!), made my way toward the bathroom. In here, I replace my hair and arrange my make-up. I got out of the room and bumped into someone. He was tall, bland and seemed to be a senior.

"Sorry."I managed to say.

"Okay, my name is Darren, what's yours?"

"Courtney."

"Wanna dance, Courtney?"He said, taking my hand.

* * *

**As usual, don't expect a happy ending. Anyway, see ya!**


	5. Almost

**IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:**

**That story formerly known as LOVE'S JUST PAIN, the title of that story is now changed for A WAY TO FORGET IT. **

**Reasons: I just didn't like the former title 'cause I rushed when I decided it.**

**Now, here is the chapter most of you have been waiting for... Enjoy and review. **

**Seriously, I want at least 3 reviews to get to the next chapter. I will continue that but, if I don't get them, it will go last on my list.**

**BTW: 9 awesome days before canadian summer vacation! For those who have summer earlier, I TOTALLY HATE YA! (JK)**

**Anyway, I have no school tomorrow so I may update something.**

**Many stories coming on the way...**

**See ya, ladies (or gentlemen, I dunno)**

* * *

Almost

My eyes slowly opened. My body came back to life again but I felt totally soulless. I noticed I was lying on a bed, white blankets under my butt and caressing my feet. My head hurt like hell and I was alone, almost naked on the mattress. I didn't remember anything of what happened -if something really happened. I didn't know why I was this way, somewhere that seemed to be Geoff's house. And the most important; I didn't know what I did.

Panic crossed my head but all I could do was to cry. That was all so blurry to me and I felt like a dirty whore that gives herself for nothing. I couldn't storm out the room and be discovered by Geoff. If he comes to know that, he'll surely tell Duncan. Not that I worried about Duncan knowing, just that some things should stay personal… At this thought, I stayed in place, waiting for a solution to come as the light starts creeping in through the pastel blue curtains.

A few minutes passed when I heard a knock at the door. Though it was just a knock, I felt some sheepishness through this. That surely must have been one of these wasted-all-time boys that often hung around after the party. In any way, I didn't want anyone to see me this way.

"Do not enter whoever you are!"I said with a slightly frightened voice.

Not following my order, the dude came in anyway but stayed in the opening. The door hiding his face and most of his body, all I saw was short curly brown hair exceeding.

"I'm sorry, are you undressed?"He managed to say like a little that just surprised his parents while doing the 'act'.

"No, not completely but I… who are you?"

He stepped in, leaving me the time to pull on the sheets. I stared at him and noticed every detail of him. He had amazing blue eyes, a height as average as his size and was kinda young. He wore a blue buttoned up plaid shirt with a white tee under, a black pair of skinny jeans and some high top black Vans. His shyness instantly appeared when he spoke again.

"I uh, I'm Tristan. I was with you yesterday."

"YOU FREAKING ASSHOLE!" I shrieked, disgusted. "You've raped me and you dare talk to me again?"

"No, no, no… I haven't done anything, I promise! In contrary…"He defended.

I was red of anger a second ago but then, I calmed down and sucked air instead of pouring tears.

"I don't wanna boast in anyway but someone actually tried, but that wasn't me."He flickered down.

"Hey, how could I trust you? And, how old are you?"

"15."He said, kind of embarrassed of this.

"And I should believe you? Get out of my way; I'm sure you're one of these kid-rapists this damn country is full of!"

Tristan backed up, suddenly scared of me or in a way of protection. Well, for a fifteen-year-old, he was easily frightened.

"No, I am not, I swear. I don't even kill mosquitoes when they sting me!"

Pathetic.

"Beside, I know what really happened last night and I know what tried to do something on you. You should stop drinking, you know."

I ignored that fact (that is really embarrassing) and glared at him sadly. Even if he was fifteen, also two years younger than I was, he was still kind of cute. And he knew about 'it' I wondered about. I took a chance, breathing deeply.

"Shoot."

"Don't you wanna dress up first?"

"I said 'shoot'."I replied on an authoritarian tone.

"As you wish, …?"

"Courtney"

_**Back to the last night, at 1 am**_

_I had been dancing outrageously with Darren for an hour. He was touching me sensually everywhere and I was letting him do it. After a few caresses and kisses in the neck, he asked me if I wanted another beer and, really drunk, I couldn't do anything else than nod my head. Darren made his way to the bottles, a little tipsy as a man like him would be. _

_Tristan was nearby, talking with some of his buddies. At them second he looked toward the table set in the back of the large room, he saw Darren pour in my glass a white powder that instantly dissolved. That must have been that GHB __**(*) **__drug, but he wasn't sure so he took a chance. Since that, he had been watching Darren closely at every move he was doing with me. _

_At almost 2, he got me upstairs. I followed him without hesitation because I was too wasted. I was laughing hard about everything I saw and Darren was just agreeing. Not too far behind, Tristan was tiptoeing fast to be able not to lose the sight of us. Darren never noticed that. At the first free bedroom, the rapist laid me on the bed and closed slowly the door behind him. Tristan pressed his ear against the door, trying to hear through._

"_Just relax, Courtney. Tonight will be our night, sweetheart."_

_Then, Darren lied on me and kissed my lips. And my cheeks. And my neck… He went lower. It was all turning sexily into a hot make out. I couldn't do anything else than moan. I just moaned, not even his name. It was so disgusting the way I was acting hoeishly. A few minutes of intense makeout and a few clothes off, Tristan reacted. _

"_No!"He yelled, storming into the room. At this, Darren didn't even jump off the bed. He just pulled his lips apart from mine and smirked at Tristan. Then, the evil grin faded to be replaced by a hysteric laugh and a withering glare to the young blue eyed._

"_Can't we have our fucking privacy?"_

"_Look, get off her and gently leave the room."Tristan managed to say. He couldn't tell that he was gonna do something if Darren didn't obey because, you know, he wasn't strong enough to fight against an 18-year-old guy. _

"_Dude, how old are you?"_

"_Fifteen."_

"_Well, go play with some guys of your age and let adults have fun."Darren added, jumping off the bed and stepping toward Tristan._

"_No. I'm not going till you leave her alone." _

"_What'd you say?" The mature teenager grabbed Tristan's collar violently. He was of course really scared of the situation, but held his head high._

"_I said no."_

_A grin came across Darren's face. His eyes were filled with anger and rage but, he smiled hysterically. Then, in a fraction of seconds, he backed up and brought his fist to Tristan's face, striking it hard for the curly haired to bleed of the nose. Sooner, Tristan was on the floor and Darren was ready to hit him again with his foot. _

"_What do you say again, motherfucker?" _

"_He says; that's enough."_

_Suddenly, Duncan appeared in the room, fire in the eyes and a pack of ice in a hand. Surprising Tristan, he prevents Darren from striking more the victim and puts himself in front of him. _

"_Get out."_

"_What the "_

"_Get the fuck outta here."_

_For unknown reasons, Darren didn't argue or punch Duncan as he did for Tristan. He just gave another furious glance at the suffering boy on the floor and disappeared out of the room. Duncan helped Tristan to get up._

"_You okay?"He asked, giving him the pack that Tristan immediately put on his nose._

"_Yeah, I'm alright. Thanks for the rescue."_

"_No problem."_

"_Well," Tristan looked to my sleepy high self, lying almost fainted on the mattress. "I think that's a problem."_

"_Let her sleep and she'll be good. In case anything happens, watch her closely."_

_Tristan had another question for the punk but, in the blink of an eye, he had gone out. In that spirit of protection, Tristan stayed next to me all night long until this morning, when he went downstairs to get something to drink. _

**Back to the present**

My angel remained calm while telling me that horrible story, having sat on my bed for a while now. I tried to but I was so ashamed by that situation that I pursed my lips not to cry. In brother-like reflex, Tristan slung his arms around my shoulders, letting me drop my head on his. I felt so dirty by all of that. I couldn't imagine that I was going to give what I had most precious to a stranger. A guy I met like a few hours ago. That was so outrageous and I hated that. I had my breath stifled by the tears but I didn't feel the need to shed anything. The best of it was that I was safe. _Thankfully._

"It's okay, sweetheart. It's over now."

"Thank you so much, Tristan. I don't know what I would have done without you. That's painful."I sighed, slightly smiling of the situation, but still grateful.

"I know, Courtney, I know. Perhaps one day, you'll meet that nasty dude again and knock him out for me."

I giggled.

Well, maybe he is just a fifteen year old, but he is more responsible than any other guys I've met. Hey, I've known teenagers that got like one or two chicks pregnant without taking their responsibilities! And that guy actually saved me from rape… That's amazing. Well, angels are not only living in the sky; this is a proof. That's an experience I will never forget and won't start again. I almost got struck into that, but maybe I found something more than a simple teenage love; I've found maturity.

_**

* * *

**_

(*)GHB, scientifically known as Gamma Hydroxybutyrate is a drug that causes euphoria, lessens anxiety and can even get someone to sleep. It is one of the three most known drugs used in date rape.

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